A Breakup Letter to Facebook from Eat24

Dear Facebook,

Hey. It’s Eat24. Look, we need to talk. This isn’t easy to say since we’ve been together so long, but we need to break up.  We’d love to say “It’s not you, it’s us” but it’s totally you. Not to be rude, but you aren’t the smart, funny social network we fell in love with several years back. You’ve changed. A lot.

When we first met, you made us feel special. We’d tell you a super funny joke about Sriracha and you’d tell all our friends and then everyone would laugh together. But now? Now you want us to give you money if we want to talk to our friends. Now when we show you a photo of a taco wrapped with bacon, you’re all like “PROMOTE THIS POST! GET MORE FRIENDS!” instead of just liking us for who we are. That’s hella messed up.

how-dare-u

Don’t mess with us when we’re hangry.

To be honest, lots of our friends warned us about you (not to name names but to definitely name names: Forbes, Fast Company, Wall Street Journal). But we ignored them and trusted you because we loved you. Now we find ourselves questioning our entire relationship.

So we Googled you (nothing too creepy, just some light research) and found out you’re doing this because of a new algorithm that decides what people want to see in their news feeds. If that’s true, that means your algorithm is saying most of our friends don’t care about sushi porn, that they aren’t interested in hearing our deepest thoughts about pizza toppings. Are you listening to yourself? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You know that all those people clicked ‘Like’ on our page because it’s full of provocatively posed burritos and cheese puns, right?

churro

Are we making you horngry, baby? (Image credit and best name ever goes to:Chica Chocolatina)

But we loved you, Facebook, so we tried to understand you and your algorithm. As far as we could tell though, it involves the words ‘affinity’ and ‘time decay.’ There also might be a Greek letter in there somewhere but we’re not sure cuz we got bored and ordered a panini. Look Facebook, all we’re saying is that we wanted to share a joke about chicken wings, not ponder astrophysics.

confused-cats

WAT.

Truth be told, your actions make us feel like you don’t respect us. Maybe you think our food-related pick-up lines and sexy tater tots memes come out of nowhere, but we spend a lot of time trying to make people happy. Seriously, we dedicate at least an hour a day to finding a word that rhymes with Havarti because we want to write the first-ever cheese Sonnet.

All we do is give, and all you do is take. We give you text posts, delicious food photos, coupons, restaurant recommendations… and what do you do in return? You take them and you hide them from all our friends. Maybe you steal our random musings about pork buns and claim them as your own. Guess we’ll never know.

pipie

Let’s be honest, the only formula we’ve ever cared about is Pie.

Even if we could figure out your mysterious, all-knowing algorithm, it’s constantly changing, so what works today might not work tomorrow. Posting something that most of our friends see is like biting into a burrito and actually getting all seven layers…never gonna happen. The point is, you’re wasting our time and cock-blocking food porn from our friends. Not cool, Facebook, not cool.

But the bigger picture issue is that we can’t trust you. You lied to us and said you were a social network but you’re totally not a social network. At least not anymore. When we log in to Facebook, we want to see what Aunt Judy is doing next weekend (hopefully baking us cupcakes) and read hilarious headlines from The Onion and see pictures of a cat who got his head stuck in the couch cushions. Instead, we get this:

adsfb

Go away. For reals.

It makes us think all you care about is money. Why should we have to wade through a dozen promoted posts about how to lose belly fat (are you trying to tell us something?) and requests for Candy Crush (NO! Just no.) and suggesting we like our arch nemesis’ page (seriously, WTF) before we can finally find the perfect Doge meme, It really seems like you’ve lost your way and have become nothing more than an ad platform.

Yeah, you’re right. We made mistakes too. We actually paid for some of those annoying promoted posts. You were all like, “Dude, you gotta try out promoted posts, It’ll help you make more friends and then more people can enjoy your LOLZ.” So we tried it because we loved you. Also, YOLO.

pepe-thumbs-up

According to Facebook, we are cool and hip.

And it’s true, we got a ton of new likes on our page. Look at all these new friends, we thought. There’s a guy in Houston, and this guy in… Bangladesh? And this girl in… Dubai? WTF Facebook!? When we said “we want to take over the world with taquitos” it was mostly a metaphor (also it was 4:20 at the time). Well, we really do want to feed the whole world one day, but right now we’re only in the U.S., so even though we love our new international friends, we’d prefer not to piss them off by showing them a photo of a delicious calzone that they can’t even order. Why did you think we wanted friends we can’t actually feed? That makes about as much sense as getting a pepperoni pizza and only one slice has pepperoni on it.

pizzapep

Food analogies are the only thing that makes sense to us.

And don’t you dare play mind games and say we’re being crazy. We aren’t the only ones who feel this way. Check out this little video the fine folks at Veritasium made that puts a bit more insight into these “likes.”

Honestly, we’re kinda hurt that you’ve changed so much. We hardly recognize you with all the facelifts you had. Take a look back. You’ve changed your look more times than Madonna. Seriously. It’s not that we don’t like change, it’s just super annoying that you decide to increase banner dimensions by 5 pixels for no reason.

Real talk, if we had to choose between making 142 different size banners to conform to whatever you’re feeling that particular week, or lie on the couch and think about fried sushi rolls, we’re always going with sushi. Just saying, but maybe you could take a lesson from this amazing webpage for the Space Jam movie. The website hasn’t changed since 1996 and it’s AMAZING.

spacejam

Best. Website. Ever.

What? You don’t like being compared to an older, more distinguished website? Fine. Let’s talk about your peers. Not to hit below the belt, but we have a lot more fun when we hang out with Twitter and Instagram. They don’t have weird algorithms, which means all of our besties get to see everything we post. You might have noticed that when Ellen decided to take a selfie of beautiful people being beautiful, she did it on Twitter. And she got so many RTs, she broke it. The whole site went down. When was the last time you got that much action?

ellentwitter

#TwitterForever

So that’s it. We’re done. All you’re left with are some single-serve freezer meals. Us? We can eat a whole pizza by ourselves so we aren’t even worried about that. We’ll pack our things and be gone by 11:59pm on Monday night. Yes, you read that right. Eat24, the company that is always telling customers to Like our page, post on our wall, and ask us for coupons on Facebook… is deleting its Facebook. This is real.

Will anyone miss it? Will anyone even know it’s gone?

darth

Confession: Darth Vader is our father.

Who knows what’ll happen between now and Monday. Maybe so many of our friends will write on our wall to say goodbye that your API will break. Ok, we don’t actually know what an API is or if it can break but something might crash or have an error or make the mouse do that pinwheel thing. So have a nice life and good luck playing Words With Friends alone.

P.S. If you are reading this and your name isn’t Facebook, and you are in fact one of our beautiful hungry customers – WE STILL LOVE YOU and we’re giving you a chance to say goodbye. Any last words? Since we’re deleting the whole thing on Monday at 11:59 PM, you can say pretty much whatever you want. Confess your love of brussel sprouts, admit that you still suck your thumb, reveal your celebrity crush. We’ll never tell. Say goodbye to Eat24’s Facebook.

P.P.S.S. If you are reading this and you’re hungry, luckily our app isn’t powered by social media or even blogs. We’d love to help you make food happen. Get the Eat24 app and summon egg rolls to your couch.

Customers React to Eat24’s Bear Dick Apology

So, did we ever tell you about that one time we accidentally showed a bear penis on TV, felt bad about it, and then sent an apology because even though we totally didn’t do it on purpose, we knew bear penis wasn’t exactly appetizing. Good times, right?

hawkward

Little did we realize that would only be the beginning. Between tweets, emails, and YouTube comments we got hundreds and hundreds of responses about the extra special guest in our commercial. Who knew Eat24 customers had so much to say about bear genitals?

For starters, there were a lot of people who were outraged:

incensed

nopantsbear

pervertslookforbeardick

asabeariamoffended

Other people, however, saw the D and felt nothing but love. We’re pretty sure it’s the only time in the history of marketing that an animal’s junk resulted in brand loyalty. But hey, whatever works.

hugamarketer

Eat24 Bear Dick reaction

imstonedc

Turns out that us talking about bear penis proved an excellent opportunity for people to let their love of bears be known. By the way, we’d like to go on the record in support of these people cuz bears are friggin’ awesome.

sausagepizza

morebeardick1

somelovebearpenis

Finally, there were quite a few people who saw the bear’s nether regions and felt inspired, not unlike the way a beautiful sunset would inspire a poet.

rangoons
naughtyparts

couponbdick

All in all, our Nip Slip situation ended pretty well given the circumstances. Seriously, can we just say a huge thanks to all of you for showing so much love to an app who accidentally showed you a bear’s dick? You guys are the best for realsies.

Weekend Coupon: T’was the Coupon Before X-Mas

burger and fry christmas ornaments

Merry Mother-In-Law

This week we’d love to tell you the perfect recipe for gingerbread waffles (add 1 cup eggnog to 1 cup brandy, stir, order waffles online) or explain to you that the only thing we want for Christmas is world peace… and an industrial-sized margarita machine, but we have too much to do. Our Mother-In-Law is coming to town. So while we spend the next 72 hours squeegeeing the shower doors and vacuuming the dog, use this code for a free Christmas cookie* to pair with your excessively spiked nog this weekend.

Coupon code:

merry24

Coupons expire but our love for you will never end. Need another? Just ask us (nicely) on Facebook or Twitter.

Place an Order Now!

Want another coupon? Tweet this and we’ll hook you up: “Hey @AnnaKendrick47, @Eat24 is waiting for you under the mistletoe #WomanCrushWednesdayAndAllTheDays” Don’t tweet? No prob. Post it on our Facebook wall.

You’re the snicker in our doodle,

Eat24


Even though having family in town can be stressful, this week has actually been pretty awesome. That’s because after years of trying, we finally reached Climax. We are, of course, referring to Climax, North Carolina. In case you missed it, we recently sent a team of our food ninjas to Climax. Turns out, they were able to make friends with the locals, and well, one thing led to another and now we’re doing business there. Moral of the story is: if you ever go to Climax and get hungry, we can totally bring you a pizza. And, of course, if you’re lucky enough to live there, we can come over every day if you’d like. All that being said, we still haven’t been able to make friends in Intercourse, Pennsylvania, so if anyone out there can hook it up, we’d super appreciate it. Alright, now before you open a new tab to Google other suggestive city names, let’s get to the Fine Print. You have to be an Eat24 member to use this $2 code (but signing up is easier than making a joke about Three Way, Arizona). Coupons can only be used at restaurants that accept coupon codes (chill, there are over 25,000 nationwide so you’re never far from sausage party delivery). Also, don’t think you can just order one taco and call it a day. You must complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet to use our totally-not-imposing coupon. Finally, the code can only be used once and will expire on Sunday the 22nd of December at midnight PST. Now hurry up and order some food before your house guests start eyeing your stash of peppermint bark, ask you for a piece, and wind up eating all of it. Rude.

Weekend Coupon: Bacon Alarm Clocks

CLOK-1520

Just Five More Minutes…

Wait… What time is it? Are you kidding?! We thought this new Pandora alarm clock feature was supposed to revolutionize waking up. Now instead of early rising to the sweet sounds of our Toni Braxton station, we’re stuck with only five minutes to finish this email. Let’s see… Sriracha gravy? Online shopping? Awkward small talk about the weather? Ugh, whatever.

But seriously, we love you Pandora. So please keep running our ads. In fact, this week’s coupon code is hidden in them! Haha just kidding it’s right here.

Coupon code:

snooze24

Coupons expire but our love for you will never end! Need another code? Just ask us on Facebook or Twitter.

Place an Order Now!

Need another coupon? Anything for you. We’ll give you another code when you tweet this:

“Release Morgan Freeman from @Twitter Jail so he can narrate this @Eat24 ad http://youtu.be/QnG0Y6kB7WQ #FreeMorganFreeman.” No Twitter? Post it on our Facebook wall.

You’re the eggs and bakey in our wakey wakey.

Enjoy,

Eat24

*Our Facebook friend Matt S. told us that he’s sick of reading through all our long-winded Fine Print B.S. just to find out that this coupon code is good for $2 off and expires Sunday the 15th of December. Well, we love honesty, and we love you. If you ever have any questions, comments, concerns, (dirty jokes, epic poems), tell us. We’re always listening. And now, for all you purists out there (respect), here’s the Fine Print: You have to be an Eat24 member to enjoy this one-time use coupon only valid at restaurants that accept coupon codes. Also, you must complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card or PayPal. That’s it. Oh, and one more thing. Need last minute stocking stuffers? We’ve got a few pairs of Swaggles left that are burning a hole in our invisible pocket #NoPants. Holla at us on Facebook or Twitter to find out how to get your hands on some one-of-a kind Eat24 Swaggles.

Weekend Coupon: Email Shenanigans

pizza-cat-11457

Did you miss us?

Hi, it’s Eat24. If you’re reading this email, you should probably run out and buy a lottery ticket because you’re one lucky taco lover! For the last two weeks, our email provider decided to send our VIP Email to just ten percent of you (you’d think they were the ones paying for all the coupons). This sucks for two reasons: 1. Lots of people didn’t get our weekly coupon and were forced to touch a stove, or even worse, go outside and interact with people. 2. We had two weeks of AMAZING email content (like, seriously the funniest $#*% we’ve ever written before 4:20 PM), and a lot of you missed it.

This weekend, stick it to the man (the Email Man) and roll out the red carpet to your inbox. Get delivery. Say Yes to French Toast Sandwiches, and No to changing out of your Ninja Turtle pajamas when you enter this code at checkout.

Coupon Code:

boom24

Coupon codes expire but our love for you goes on and on. Need a coupon? Just ask us on Facebook or Twitter and we’ll hook you up.

Hungry? Order now

Want another coupon? You got it! We have a super secret shiny new feature on the site. Find it and tell us about it on Facebook or Twitter with #Party and we’ll give you a coupon to try it out. Hint: menu page, desktop only ;)

You’re the tubes to our Internet.

Enjoy,

Eat24

*Are you reading this? Can you hear us? Let’s try this out. HEEEELLLLLLOOOO BEAUTIFUL! Nothing? Hmmm. Since you’re probably not even reading this because this email is stuck in some horrible traffic jam on the Internet superhighway, we’re going to take this opportunity to state some facts that THE MAN has previously held back from you. First, dinosaurs aren’t extinct. They all live at Eat24 HQ where we feed them gyros, because dinosaurs’ favorite food is Greek (it was just invented 145 million years too late). Also, The Beatles were so popular because when played backwards, all of their songs reference their favorite treats. Octopus’s Garden, Strawberry Fields, Mean Mr. Mustard, hello!? Finally, are you sitting down? Pants were invented by zombies in an attempt to get us to go outside so they can eat us (if you think about it, pants are kind of like tortillas for legs). Now before you start burning your pants with old Beatles records, let’s get to this Fine Print: You have to be an Eat24 member to use this $2 code (but signing up is easier than clearing out your spam folder). Coupons can only be used at restaurants that accept coupon codes (but relax, there’s over 25,000 nationwide, so just go ahead and Reply All until everyone you know has a coupon to make sushi magically appear at their door (eventually Kevin Bacon, because Science). Also, don’t just order a 1MB attachment worth of food. You must complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card or PayPal to use our fully automated coupon. And finally, the code can only be used once, and will expire on Sunday, October 13th at midnight PST. Now while we look into a better way to bring you our Weekly VIP Coupon (Tacocopters? Burgercanons? Sandwichsegways?) get delivery, relax, and as always, take off those damn pants! Oh and BTW, if you really want to see those emails that you missed, we post them every week right here on our blog.

 

Eat24 Shutdown Prank: We’re SorryNotSorry

So… guess the Internet can’t take a joke.

Here’s what happened. We sent this amazing little email poking fun at the Government shutdown with a coupon to order delivery for the weekend.

 Eat24 is shutting down VIP email prank

HA! Isn’t it funny, we all said. Aren’t we so clever and topical, we all said (while laughing hysterically and high-fiving ourselves). Here’s a visual approximation of the scene:

Laughing animals

 

Silly government, all shut down and stuff. Our joke is the best and everyone is going to love us forever and ever!

This was our expected reaction from Eat24 Customers:

clapping audience gif

However…. this was the actual reaction from Eat24 Customers:

Obama is not amused gif

Maybe it’s because newspapers are dying and Twitter is a sketchy place for current events, but it appears that most of you didn’t even like us joking about shutting down. So much so that you took to social media to tell us just how un-amused you were. In fact, you all went through the 5 stages of grief.

Denial: 

denial_1

Denial_2

Denial_5

Denial_4

Denial_3

Anger:

anger_1

Anger_3

anger_2

Anger_4

Bargaining:

bargaining_1

bargaining_2

Bargaining_3

Bargaining_4

Depression:

depression_1

depression_2

depression_3

depression_4

 Acceptance:

Acceptance_1

Acceptance_2

Acceptance_3 

We even had people hop on our 24/7 Customer Support live chat to give us a piece of their mind: 

 ———————————————————————————————–

Chat Transcript: October 5th 2013

Angelique (6:45PM) Are you guys really shutting down service?

Eat24: (6:45PM) Unfortunately Yes. In T-Minus 2 Days…

Eat24: (6:46PM) I’m Totally kidding, We ain’t goin’ nowhere!

Angelique: (6:46PM) I read that you were shutting down, so I was so confused.

Eat24: (6:47PM) It was just a joke.

Angelique: (6:47PM) Wow, now I really do feel like a blonde. Haha

Eat24: (6:47PM) I’m blonde too!

Angelique: (6:48PM) Thanks for clarifying. Glad you guys are still here!

Eat24: (6:48PM) You’re welcome! Have a great one :) We’ll always be here for you.

 ———————————————————————————————–

Chat Transcript: October 6th, 2013

Cynthia: (4:40PM) TELL ME IT ISN’T SO!

Eat24: (4:40PM) We are not shutting down :)

Cynthia: (4:41PM) THANK GOD! YOU GUYS ALMOST RUINED MY WEEKEND!

 ———————————————————————————————–

Let us officially clear the air. The rumors you have heard are false. We are still in business, and we’re not going anywhere anytime soon. So, order in and resume the happy dance.

gif happy dance

 

Weekend Coupon: Delivery Heroes

558857_10151146553289452_219843614_n

High Five Your Hero

Here at Eat24, we’re in the business of making dreams come true. And business is good. Everyone has dreams. At one point or another, we all fantasize about what it would be like to catch a touchdown pass from Joe Montana, go sweater shopping with Bill Cosby, or just be one of Oprah’s favorite things. Now we’re giving you a once in a lifetime  (well, maybe twice) chance to meet your own personal hero and high five the guy who has saved your life on more than one occasion.

That’s right! It’s Eat24’s second annual Delivery Guy Appreciation Weekend – a time when we honor and praise the brave men and women who risk everything everyday just to bring you those BBQ pulled pork nachos with extra cheese. They go OUTSIDE, so you don’t have to. They’re heroes.

So do yourself a favor this weekend. Use this coupon* to order from Eat24, and when he shows up, high five the heck out of your delivery guy. Take a pic of the glorious event and share the photo with us on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram using hashtag #eat24high5 and we’ll send you your very own pair of Eat24 Swaggles** (proof that you’ve met a celebrity).

Coupon code:

hero24

Coupon codes expire, but our love for you lasts as long as a marathon of Breaking Bad. If you need another coupon, just ask us on Facebook or Twitter.

Place an Order Now!

You’re the triple backflip in our overly elaborate secret handshake.

Enjoy,

Eat 24

*While we’re on the subject of dream scenarios, we thought it’d be a good time to share Eat24′s official Bucket List. Here it is in no particular order: Fly an F-14 with Maverick and Goose, play Candy Crush with Yoda, be adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, do “The Time Warp” with Tim Curry, smoke with Snoop Dogg/Lion (whoops, did that one), eat a Hot Pocket with Jim Gaffigan, play drums for Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem, have Aaron Paul call us a b****, and lastly (and most importantly), read this Fine Print to you: You must be an Eat24 member to use this $2 coupon code (Chill, signing up is easier than getting twerking lessons from Miley Cyrus). Coupons can only be used at restaurants that accept coupon codes (over 25,000 of them nationwide, all of which you can try in under 2 seconds if you’re traveling in a Trimaxian Drone Ship from the planet Phaelon). The value of the code will be applied when you complete an order of $10 or more and pay with a credit card or PayPal. Finally, the coupon can only be used once, and will expire the 25th of August at Midnight PST. There, you’re done. Thanks for reading this whole thing in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried (which was our secret invisible wish that you probably missed earlier).

**Swaggles are swag goggles, or swan goggles, or possibly both. They’re sunglasses – basically a leather jacket for your face.

Eat24′s 2nd Annual Delivery Driver Appreciation Weekend

Eat24 high five delivery guy contest

Guess what!? It’s that time of year where we salute the hardest working person in the business. No, not porn stars. We’re talking about the men and women who bring you tacos, burgers, and chow mein, no matter if it’s raining, snowing, or the apocalypse outside; the delivery driver.

Last year went so well that we decided we need to step up our game. This year, we’re going to reward you with something that’ll last.

So summon some deliciousness straight to your mouth this weekend, and when the delivery guy arrives, high five the heck out of him. Show us the pic and we’ll send you your very own pair of Eat24 Swaggles (proof that you’ve met a celebrity). Too good to be true? Nope. It’s real. For full details, make your finger do the scrolly thing.

Eat24 Swaggeles sunglasses

Here’s what you gotta do:

Step 1: Order food from Eat24. (duh)

Step 2: Take a picture of you high-fiving your delivery driver in the most awesome way possible.

Step 3: Post that pic on the Eat24 Facebook page, or share it with us on Twitter or Instagram using hashtag #Eat24high5

Step 4: Receive a pair of our exclusive, limited edition Swaggles – Guaranteed to give you 24% more swag, a firm and juicy buttocks, and protection from pesky UV rays. Probably.

Eat24’s 2nd annual Delivery Guy Appreciation Weekend starts Friday (8/23). Get your hand ready. Do finger Pilates. Sanitize. Moisturize. And prepare to high five the heck out of your delivery guy.

 

Top Foods We Wish Never Existed

Sure. The food world is awesome and full of delicious things like cheeseburgers, sushi, tacos, and bacon. It gets even better when you can order food delivery right to your couch. But every family has a dark side. A cousin who is just plain weird, an uncle that tends to get too sauced, a slimy sister who makes things awkward at the dinner table. Just like your last family reunion, the food world had a few members who you wish just didn’t show up.

We asked our friends on Facebook to tell us what food they wished never existed. These twelve culprits were the biggest offenders.

Okra

roasted-okra

Most people don’t think okra actually tastes bad. It’s just that it likes to be all slimy and stringy and get all up in your side dishes.

The Exception:

gumboGumbo has been able to magically transform this creepy creation into something wonderful. Because gumbo is obviously magic.

Potted Meat

pottedmeat1501

It’s not something we’re proud of but we’ve all been there. It’s late. You’re hungry and the only thing in your cupboard is canned meat. It’s bad enough that it comes in a can but does it have to look like cat food too?

The Exception:

spam-musubi

Spam musubi. We know what you’re thinking, Spam? Trust us on this. Just don’t think of it as Spam, but more as some wonderful undiscovered meat product.

Pickles

pickles

Some people absolutely hate these vinegary, salty, little wonders. The biggest complaint we saw on Facebook was regarding sweet pickles and when they rudely show up unannounced on burgers. Pickles, you’ve been warned, get your game in check.

The Exception:

fried_pickles

Fried pickles. Most everything is better when fried, and that includes our bumpy friend pickles. This appetizer has almost become a staple on your average menu because there is nothing more American than frying all the things.

Cilantro

cilantro

The cilantro plant may be one of the most divided herbs in the entire country. Almost. Cilantro haters actual have a scientific reason to dislike the plant. To some, cilantro tastes like soap because a gene linked to their sense of smell is sensitive to the chemicals in cilantro. So if you’re one of those unlucky few that hate cilantro. We’re sorry, but science just boned you.

The Exception:

guacamole

Salsas, guacamoles, tacos, pretty much everything. Unless of course your genes are messing with you.

Liver:

liver_n_onions

Eating organs is generally unpleasant, but most of our friends that hate liver and wish it was never invented have a deep hatred rooted in a childhood meal called Liver and onions.

The Exception:

chopped_liver

Chopped chicken liver at a deli might be one of the most perfect things ever invented.

Lima Beans:

lima_beans

These little green abominations look like their much tastier cousins Edamame, but are more bitter and slimier. Hated by schoolchildren and adults alike, we’re still not really sure where these little beans belong, but it’s not on our plate.

The Exception:

Lima_Bean_SaladThere are some salads that actually make this childhood terror not only edible but freakin’ delicious.

Raisins:

raisin_cookie

The biggest offender for raisins is inside of cookies where they’re attempting to double as a chocolate chip. There is absolutely nothing worse than biting into a fresh cookie that you think is chocolate, but is actually a shriveled up stupid raisin.

The Exception:

raisin_toast

Raisins can have breakfast. Cinnamon raisin toast is amazing, lot’s of cereals use it well and granola and oatmeal is made way tastier with their presence. So raisins, listen up. Stay the hell out of our desserts, but keep rocking it in our breakfast foods.

Beets:

beets1

Not only do these vegetables stain everything white you’ve ever loved, but frankly, they’re pretty gross. Most of our Facebook friends said they hated the pickled variety the most, but also didn’t like when they showed up in their salads.

The Exception:

beet-and-goat-cheese-saladRoasted beets and goat cheese salad is a really good balance of the harshness of beets and the creamy awesomeness of goat cheese. Give it a try before you give up on beets forever.

Gefilte Fish:

gefilte-fish

Like, it’s jellied fish. We understand there’s something to be said for tradition, but this needs to go away.

The Exception:

There is none. But if you like fish and you like jelly, give it a try. If you dare.

Anchovies:

sardines-in-pizza

Another offender from our Facebook friends’ childhood nightmares and cartoons. These mini fish are definitely weird, kinda like salty mustaches, and the quickest way to make sure no one eats your leftover pizza.

The Exception:

caesar-saladIf you’ve never had a real Caesar salad made with anchovies, you’re missing out.

Brussels Sprouts:

brussels

Brussels sprouts get a bad rap from kids but often the reason people don’t enjoy these little mini cabbages, is because they’re cooked improperly. Brussel sprouts actually release a vapor if overcooked that is very similar to sulfur which makes them extra gross.

The Exception:

brussels-sprouts-with-baconOrder them with a steak from a place that knows how to cook and dress them and give them another shot. Seriously, these babies can be quite delicious.

Sauerkraut:

sauerkraut

Sauerkraut is weird. It’s hard to spell, is pickled cabbage and is a strange beige/greyish non-color. A lot of people think it ruins hotdogs, is a horrible side dish and is generally just full of disgusting. While we might not agree with all of those sentiments, we do agree, WTF, sauerkraut?

The Exception:

German Bratwurst with sauerkraut and delicious mustard is perfection on a plate.

 

Did you miss this question? Well then why you no follow us on Facebook?

Weekend Coupon: Food Baby

costume-taco

It’s a Burrito!

Kanye West made a music baby, Kim Kardashian made a real baby (that’s two for Kanye), and Facebook made an Instagram video baby. Feeling left out? Us too. Let’s make a food baby! Enter this Coupon Code at checkout for some free love* this weekend.
Coupon Code:

baby24 

Our coupons expire, but our love for you will never end. If you need another coupon, just ask us (nicely) on our Twitter and Facebook pages.

Hungry? Order now

Want another coupon? No problem. Pick a name for your food baby and tweet it to us with #FoodBabyName and we’ll give you another coupon. Don’t have a Twitter? Post it on our Facebook wall.

You’re the sweet potato in our pie.

Enjoy,

Eat24

*Speaking of babies… whatever happened to Beanie Babies, and what the hell are we going to do with this storage unit full of them? It seemed like such a good thing to collect at the time; a “guaranteed way to make millions” they said. Now we’re stuck with 150 Cubbies, 273 Squealers, and 3 Brownie the Bears. We don’t even like bears. Or beanbags. While we hop on Ebay and try to sell off these bean things, why don’t you read the fine print? You have to be an Eat24 member to use the $2 coupon code (Relax, signing up is easier that finding a mint condition early model of Quacker the Duck Without Wings). Also you can only use codes at… wait for it… wait for it… restaurants that accept Coupon codes (but it’s cool because there are over 25,000 of them) and pay with Credit card or PayPal. Don’t try to be a sneaky Robbie Raccoon and only order one taquito. You must complete an order of $10 or more to use the coupon. Finally, you can only use the code once, and it will expire the 23rd of June at Midnight PST. Now before you go, would you like to buy 63 slightly used Walruses?