Weekend Coupon: Re-Order

Lazy Tip #562

lazy-dog-pool

The only thing better than doing something, is doing absolutely nothing. You’re not lazy, you’re just conserving energy. We get it. That’s why we made the Re-Order button. Have you tried it yet? It’s like yelling “Shut up and give me that thing I ordered last time” into your phone, except it actually works. So next time you’re hungry (AKA now), hit up Past Orders in your Eat24 account. BOOM. You’re one button away from your favorite meal.

The Re-Order button: Less clicking. Less thinking. More quality time with Chicken Chow Mein and your couch.

Speaking of doing less, spend less money when you enter this code* at checkout on Eat24. Then sit back, relax, and enjoy doing zero things this weekend.

Coupon Code:

reorder

 

Hungry? Get Delivery

 

You’re the curly in our fries.

Bon appetit,

Eat24

*Fine Print goes here.**
**Just kidding, the Fine Print is important so here it is for real: To use this $2 coupon code, you must be an Eat24 member (but signing up is easier than deciding which Instagram filter looks best on your breadsticks (Hint: it’s Kelvin), and you must complete an order of $10 or more, and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet. The number of times this code can be used per person is one, which is also probably the max number of hashtags you should include with your selfie. The coupon expires Sunday the 2nd of March at 11:59 PM PST. There. That’s it. You’ve reached the end of the Fine Print. Got another minute? Want to be insanely jealous, hungry, and slightly turned on all at once? Follow @Eat24 on Instagram.

Weekend Coupon: Sorry America

We’d like to apologize

sorry

Hi, it’s Eat24.

We just want to take the opportunity of this weekly coupon email to say to all of our loyal customers, we’re sorry. Recently, Eat24 aired a commercial on TV that some people might find offensive. We messed up, and we accept full responsibility for it. Sorry America. We never want to offend you, we only want to feed you.

Now that we got that out of the way, here is your weekly coupon gift from us to buy yourself a little extra pepperoni* for your pizza.

Coupon Code:

oops

 

Hungry? Get Delivery

 

Want a bonus coupon? You got it. Just tweet this for another code: “Hey @Eat24, @NatGeo called. They want their naked bear back.” No Twitter? No problem. Post it on our Facebook and we’ll love you back with a bonus code.

You’re the graham cracker crust on our apology cheesecake.

Enjoy,

Eat24

*Now that we’ve entered this period of self-reflection, we realize we actually have a LOT of stuff to be sorry about. Got a minute? OK, let’s begin. We’re sorry about low-fat cheese. We’re sorry about Shia Labeouf. We’re sorry about James Franco being sorry about Shia LaBeouf. We’re extra sorry about that time we put too much Sriracha on the chow mein, making it inedible to anyone but ourselves (our bad, seriously). And we’re really really sorry about Facebook buying WhatsApp. Now while we warm up our hands to give you the customary post-apology back massage, read this Fine Print (which we are also sorry for): You have to be an Eat24 member to use this $2 code (don’t worry, signing up is easier than explaining why we told you we’d save you a burger at the BBQ but then the only food left was a black bean/alfafa sprout meatless patty). Coupons can only be used at restaurants that accept coupon codes (over 25,000 nationwide). Also, don’t just order a side of pickles to go with that bean thing. You must complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet to use our coupon. Finally, the code can only be used once and will expire on Sunday the 23rd of February at 11:59 PM PST. Now if you’ll excuse us we’re gonna put this brown paper sack back on and guilt-eat an entire thing of donut holes. Oh, and one last thing. Even though our commercial was a little dirty, it was surprisingly pretty successful! So we wrote an essay about it. Enjoy.

Eat24 Put A Bear Penis on TV, By Accident

Who doesn’t love bears? They’re fuzzy, love food, and take month-long naps. Due to our mutual appreciation of laziness and sashimi salmon, we thought it would make sense to put a handsome, totally amazing bear in Eat24’s current commercial campaign. Just think, if we found the right one, he could be next in line to join the rich history of famous, lovable TV bears.

Famous cartoon bears

So we began our search for a bear that would change the course of history. Or maybe just a lazyass bear that made us laugh. To our delight, we found this adorable guy. He was lazy, he was hungry, and he was the perfect candidate to star in Eat24’s new TV spots.

Eat24 cute bear

G’ah! Adorable.

So we made a commercial featuring our new BFF and took it for a test drive on YouTube, just to make sure it was ready for prime time TV.  Turns out the hungry people of the Internet love bears! The positive feedback came rolling in.

Eat24 bear dick commercial comments

We were thrilled. We literally couldn’t stop high fiving ourselves over and over again.

Infinite High five gif

Clearly, this Eat24 Bear was a winner. So we threw him in with 7 other commercials and shipped them off to 15 major television markets. Success! But wait. That’s when we got a message from our media sales rep in D.C. It seems they had a bit of an issue with Mr. Bear.

Eat24 bear dick ad rejected email

Morally questionable? That’s the nicest thing we’ve heard all day!

Wait, what? This isn’t the first time animals have gotten us in trouble (a certain monkey comes to mind), but just like last time, we couldn’t figure out exactly what was so offensive about our bear. He’s just relaxing and casually scratching an itch. It’s not like he had his… oh no… no no no… shit.

That’s when we saw it. In fact, it had been flopping in our face for over a month. Bear dick.

Eat24 bear dick commercial close up

This is why Smokey always wears pants.

We watched this video at least 527,986 times during the editing process, and this bear’s junk was just sitting there laughing at us the whole time. We never saw it. Shit. Well, maybe nobody else will notice (please please oh please). It wasn’t until we watched our spot (which shall henceforth be known as “Bear Dick”) on a 80” HD screen that we realized how big the problem might be.

Nah… it’ll be fine. No one is going to notice this bear penis. Plus, it’s not that big of a deal, right? It’s just nature. It’s educational! It belongs on National Geographic right next to the naked tribes of the Amazon and majestic lions humping across the plains of Africa.

Turtle having sex

Not a lion, but a turtle courtesy of the award-winning National Geographic documentary “Turtles Having Sex LOL”

Then another city pulled the spot. It was Boston. They rejected our ad and didn’t give a reason. But we know, Boston. We know. Beantown ain’t down with bear beans. Oh well. Thirteen out of 15 markets approved the ad, and the commercial already started airing. The only thing we could do was sit back and see what happens.

What happened was America loves Bear Peen! OK, not really. Well, kind of.  In our 8-spot rotation, the one featuring our fuzzy friend’s manhood was by far the most talked about on social media. Public reaction fell into one of three categories.

One – People who didn’t notice the bear dick, and loved the commercial anyway:

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedbackEat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

Two – People who didn’t notice the bear dick, and hated the commercial anyway:

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

And what about the people who did notice the bear penis? Surprisingly, they didn’t seem too mad about it. They just really wanted to let the world know what they saw:

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

Eat24 bear commercial twitter feedback

We also received this lovely email from a concerned (?) viewer:

Eat24 bear dick commercial email feedback

Watched, and watched, and rewatched, and watched some more.

OK, we know what you’re thinking, “Hey, Eat24. Cool story bro. Anecdotal evidence is nice and all, but WHAT ABOUT COLD HARD FACTS?” Yeah, we learned from the comments on our case study How to Advertise on Porn Websites that you marketing professionals really love your statistics, so these next paragraphs are for you. Let’s circle back to that YouTube ad campaign we mentioned way in the beginning of this thing. We ran all 8 of our commercials on YouTube, and you know which one was highest performing?! Yep, you guessed it (you’re good at this). The one featuring our furry pantsless friend had twice as many impressions as all 7 other ads combined. That’s right. Times two.

Yeah, but what about click-through rate? Mr. Bear kicked ass at that too. Our seven spots that didn’t feature genitalia were averaging about 24 clicks per 1,000 impressions. Meanwhile Bear Dick was getting 120 clicks per 1,000. Not only was he driving more people to Eat24.com, he was generating more orders too. #NotAppetizing, says Twitter? #NotTrue, says real life! Captain Naughty Parts was sending us triple the orders of all the rest of the videos.

Here’s an informative and not-so-subliminally suggestive infographic:

Eat24 YouTube Ads Click-Through Rate chart

Also, in case you were wondering, the Internet has stared at Bear Dick for a grand total of 41 days and counting, which is actually kinda low by Internet standards (Gangnam Style has been watched for 914,546 years, and it doesn’t even have ANY bears in it, so maybe press play on the video below and make our bear feel a little better about himself).

Eat24 bear dick youtube stats

If your nude bear viewing lasts longer than 41 days, call a doctor.

Bla bla bla bla bla … Conclusion? What does it all mean? Why does bear nudity make people want to order Szechuan Chicken to their couch? Your guess is as good as ours. Watch it for yourself below, and if you come up with any ideas, let us know about it on Twitter or Facebook. 

 

 

 

Weekend Coupon: spooning

cats spooning

You can stop reading now because that was this weekend’s coupon code. The title of this blog post. That’s right. Our Valentine’s Day present to you is all coupon, no bulls–t. So go ahead and stop reading right about… now.

And in case you missed it the first time

Coupon code:

spooning

 

Hungry? Get Delivery

Need another coupon? Tweet this and fill in the blank with your favorite delivery food: “I’m spooning with @Eat24 and _____ this weekend.” Don’t do Twitter? Post it on our Facebook wall.

You’re the cream in our cannoli.

 

Enjoy,

Eat24

*Still reading? Good. You’re a genius, because we hid an even more special-er present in this week’s Fine Print. Google Wallet users get $5 off your Eat24 order when you use the “Buy with Google” button on the Eat24 Android app (one-time use) from now until 11:59 PM on Monday the 17th of February, 2014. Not a Google Wallet user? That’s OK. We still love you, and our regular weekly coupon (it’s ‘spooning’, how could you forget that?) is also good until the end of Monday (three-day weekend holla!) and you can use it on Eat24.com or any of the Eat24 apps (including Atari 2600) to get $2 off an order of $10 or more when you pay with Credit Card or PayPal. We promised no BS, so the rest of the rules are: code is single-use, gotta be an Eat24 member. Boom. Roses are red, violets are blue, buttermilk fried chicken sandwich, go order delivery.

 

 

Weekend Coupon: It’s Our Birthday

Party Time

baconcake

Guess what? Eat24 turns 6 years old this month! (We know, we know. We don’t look a day over 2). Like any 6-year old, we enjoy grilled cheese sandwiches, afternoon naps, and wearing our Spider-Man costume everywhere all the time. So what can you get for the company that has everything? We only want one thing for our birthday: more people at the party!

Tell a friend about us. Forward this email. Tweet it. Facebook it. Tag your selfie. Whatever it takes to invite more people to this 24/7 Pajama* Pizza Party. Wait, you want to send us presents too? If you insist! Our address is at the bottom of this email (but try to keep it smaller than a Bengal tiger because we only have one warehouse).

Coupon Code:

bday24

 

Hungry? Get Delivery

 

Need another coupon? Sure thing. Wish us a happy birthday on Twitter or Facebook and we’ll love you back with a bonus code.

You’re the corner slice to our cake.

 Bon appetit,

Eat24

*When we say “Pajama” we of course mean Footie Pajamas, which is what we wear the few hours of the day when we aren’t dressed like Spider-Man. We’re Eat24, we’re 6, and we do what we want! You can do pretty much whatever you want too, as long as you use this $2 coupon before 11:59 PM on Sunday, February 9th 2014. You also need to place an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet. Just like a fresh sheet of bubble wrap, this code can only be popped once. You have to be a registered Eat24 user to enjoy this coupon, but it’s cool because signing up is easier than figuring out if there’s a little man living inside all the traffic lights pressing buttons to change the colors. You’re probably pretty hungry now, so go order a large pepperoni, and don’t forget to save those pizza tables so Barbie and G.I. Joe have somewhere to eat.

YouTube Marketing: You’re Doing it Wrong

Pop Quiz: How many times have you hopped on YouTube and thought, “I don’t care what I watch, so long as I get to see a commercial about the leather interior and smooth breaks of a mid-range sedan”? The answer is approximately never. That’s because it’s sort of a dirty secret in the marketing world (and not the good kind) that ads are annoying. So let’s keep it real: We hate ads, you hate ads, and it’s probably a safe bet the ads hate us back.

mad-at-theinternet (1)

Gaahhhhhhhhhh

Ok, maybe that’s not the most inspiring way to start a blog about marketing, but if there’s anything our more recent campaign taught us, it’s that keeping it real is as good for businesses as it is for rappers. It’s an approach we’ve found great success with, and it all started with our accountant Dave.

You see, we’d just begun a new campaign and had the Eat24 team come watch a few of the commercials with us. As the first ad came on though, a voice emerged from the crowd. It was Dave from Accounting. “Skip the ad,” he said, “We have to pay for it if we watch it all the way through.”

accountant

This is Dave. Invite him to your next party. You’ll regret it.

 Dave’s kind of a twit, but his unyielding desire to save money made us think. Sure, our ads were certifiably not terrible, but they were still ads. In all likelihood, most viewers would pre-position their cursor over the ‘Skip Ad’ button, ready to blast away our commercial ASAP. And who could blame them? They were seconds away from watching a compilation of puppies or the debut of Miley Cyrus’ latest video.

fluffy_white_dog1

Ermahgad

That’s when it came to us. Why not just keep it real? If they wanted to skip the ad, why not tell them to do it? Worst case scenario, they skip it and we wouldn’t have to pay for the view. Best case scenario, they’d be intrigued by what kind of company would make an ad and tell them not to watch it.  So we made another ad and did precisely that.

 

Funny story: Asking people to skip our YouTube ad actually resulted in 91% of people completing the entire ad, which made the campaign more expensive than any of the others (Sorry, Dave).  At the end of the day, that meant 4x more people finished Skip This Ad than the next-best ad.

But the campaign’s success did not stop there.  With a 7.1% Click-Through Rate, Skip This Ad blew all the other ads out of the water.  Maybe we should have had higher expectations, but it was crazy how many people were actually putting their kitten video plans on hold to not only watch the video, but to go to our site for a few minutes to learn about us.

skipthisad

However, the real payoff came when we noticed a significant spike in app downloads during the time the campaign was running. In fact, we averaged about 75% more downloads during the weeks the campaign was running. Creating this kind of brand awareness ultimately led to thousands more orders from new customers. We were thrilled to have so many new besties to feed, and all because we kept it real with them.

Do honest ads= honest politicians?

You probably aren’t wondering about how our ad might affect the government, but you might be interested to know that a political insider emailed us to say he’d seen the ad and liked it. He wrote:

eat24_skip_this_ad_email
Could his ideas involve keeping it real? Would Eat24 be responsible for the first politician to solemnly swear to only fulfill 10% of their promises? Should we move on and make TV ads telling people to get up and go to the bathroom? Or perhaps it was the reverse psychology that affected people. Maybe our next billboard could say, “You aren’t hungry. Don’t order delivery. Ever.” We had a lot to think about. And Dave had a stack of checks to sign for YouTube

Weekend Coupon: Another Stupid Coupon

We suck

eat24 jumping the shark

At writing emails. We just re-read last week’s coupon email and we gotta say… wow. How do you guys make it through these things? Who do we think we are? Will the world explode if we make fewer than 75 pop culture references in one paragraph? The answer to all of those questions is, of course, No (even though it only really makes sense for the last one).

Email over. Happy Friday! Here’s that coupon.

Coupon code:

shh24

Coupons expire, but our love for you will never end. Need another? Just as us on Twitter or Facebook. 

Hungry? Get Delivery

Want another coupon? No problem. Tweet this: “The @Eat24 weekly coupon email has jumped the shark”. No Twitter? Post it on our Facebook wall.

You’re the salsa verde to our enchiladas.

Enjoy,

Eat24


*Don’t worry, this Fine Print will also be quick because we’re not allowed to use the name “Super Bowl” to talk about the Super Bowl, so we can’t make any Super Bowl jokes. Oh well. It’s OK because this email and coupon code will self destruct on Sunday, February 2nd 2014. Now let’s just speed through the rest of this before the NFL** notices. Coupon value: $2. Order minimum: $10. Accepted with Credit Card, PayPal, and Google Wallet. One time use for Eat24 users only. OK now hurry up and order some pulled pork sliders and enjoy The United States Professional Football Championship Bowl Game Event.

**We’re not supposed to say NFL either (Fine Print within Fine Print? Yep, we definitely jumped the shark).

 

Weekend Coupon: Get Your Free Candy™

candy_tm

Can we talk about the amazing week that weed is having? First, it gets some major love from the Commander in Chief himself, Barack Obama. Then the Broncos and Seahawks win a trip to the Super Bowl after their home states legalize marijuana. High five, weed! And they said you couldn’t be productive. Pshhh.

Meanwhile (coincidence?), the makers of Candy Crush have trademarked the word “candy,” which sucks because we really love candy, so if you love candy too, use this coupon for some free candy* with your Eat24 order this weekend.

Coupon code:

candy24

Coupons expire, but our love for you will never end. Need another code? Just ask us on Facebook or Twitter.

Hungry? Get Delivery

Want another coupon? No problem. Tweet this: “Rough week @JustinBieber? Here have some candy from @Eat24”. No Twitter? Post it on our Facebook wall.

You’re the candy to our candy.

Enjoy,

Eat24

*Now to read this week’s Fine Print, we have special guest speaker, Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman! Take us through it, Richard: I’m the best Fine Print in the game! When you try me with sorry legal jargon like Sweepstakes Rules or an Extended Warranty for a Toaster Oven, that’s the result you gonna get. Don’t you EVER talk about me. Don’t you open your mouth about the best. Or I’m gonna shut it for you real quick. E-A-T. Now that I got that out of the way, this $2 coupon will be applied when you complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet. It definitely cannot be applied on a sideline go-route with :33 seconds left in the fourth quarter, and can only be used once. The coupon expires 11:59PM on January 26th, and the clock cannot be stopped no matter how many timeouts you have left, because physics. You must be a registered Eat24 user to enjoy this coupon code, which is accepted at over 25,000 restaurants nationwide. BOOM. Done. Woooh! I’m the best Fine Print you’ll ever read! Not medication side effects, not cell phone contracts, not infomercial disclaimers. ONLY ME. Ok all this yelling made me hungry, so I’m gonna go order a beef empanada, and I encourage you to do the same, because empanadas are delicious.

 

 

Don’t Read This: Not A Coupon

eat24_VIP_dontRead
Don’t read this.

What are you doing? We told you not to read this. OK, fine. You’re an adult and you do what you want. You eat pancakes for dinner and ice cream for breakfast. Respect.

But seriously, whatever you do, do not use this coupon* when you order from Eat24 this weekend.

 

Coupon Code:

nope24

Coupons expire but our love for you will never end. Need another coupon? Ask us on Facebook or Twitter. 

Hungry? Don’t Get Delivery

 

Want another coupon? Don’t follow @Eat24 on Instagram because we definitely won’t be posting more coupons there.

You’re the one-finger poke to our “hey don’t touch this, it’s hot.”

Enjoy,

Eat24

 

*We don’t know why we’re even writing this Fine Print since you’ve already made it very clear that you’re a rebel and the rules don’t apply to you, but we’re legally required to tell you that the $2 coupon listed above won’t actually work unless you complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet. Don’t try to use the coupon more than once, and definitely don’t try to use it after 11:59PM on January 19th because it will definitely be expired. More things you can’t do: You can’t use the code at any random massage parlor, indoor skydiving arena, or Batmobile dealership (sorry), but you CAN use it at over 25,000 Eat24 partner restaurants nationwide (and really, why would you want to eat anywhere else?). This one seems obvious, but only registered Eat24 users can use this coupon. OK, now you can get back to not doing things, like ordering that House Special Appetizer Combo “for 2″ and NOT sharing it. At all. Like, not even one Crab Rangoon.

Weekend Coupon: Pay With Egg Rolls

eggroll

One Weird Way to Get Rich

How does it feel to be one of the smartest people on the Internet? Pretty good, right? Yeah, we thought so. Since you’re a genius, we know you haven’t wasted your time with all these cryptocurrencies everyone is talking about like Bitcoin, Dogecoin, or Coinye West. Nope. Not you. You’re waiting for something better. Allow us to introduce you to the most valuable altcoin on the market. It’s called Egg Rolls.

Why should I invest in Egg Rolls, you’re probably asking. The appetizer market is booming right now, and Egg Rolls are delicious. OK, but what do I do with them? Simple. Just order them with Eat24, then eat them. Or trade them with a friend for something else, like Onion Rings. The possibilities are endless.

The best part about Egg Rolls is that they’re accepted everywhere. Because who doesn’t love Egg Rolls? So invest in some Egg Rolls from Eat24 this weekend, and we’ll give you your first one for free*.

 

Coupon Code:

eatcoin

Coupon codes expire but our love for you will never end. If you need another. just ask us (nicely please) on Facebook or Twitter.

Hungry? Get Delivery

 

Need another coupon? We got your back. Just tweet this: “I would trade my last Egg Roll for @Coachella tickets but I will never give up my @Eat24“. No Twitter? No prob. Post it on our Facebook Wall. You’re the cocoa in our chocolate money.
Bon appetit,

Eat24

*Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest speaker to read the Eat24 Fine Print today. You know him as the man who brought us Transformers, The Rock, and How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. It’s director/producer Michael Bay! Hello, how is everyone today? My job… is to make dreams transform into cars… and the Eat24 fine print is a place where readers can… escape. And uh… ugh. I can’t read this. I’m sorry. OK, well he walked off, so we’ll just finish this Fine Print the way we’re pretty sure Michael Bay would’ve done it. VROOOOOM only registered Eat24 users can use this $2 code and then it’s all BOOOOOOOM you must complete an order of $10 or more and pay with Credit Card, PayPal, or Google Wallet and then SCREEEEEECH OH NO WE’RE GONNA CRASH INTO AN OIL TANKER the code can only be used once and will expire on Sunday the 12th of January at 11:59PM PST KABOOOOOOOM smash cut to shiny metal thing then cross dissolve to Megan Fox. Give it up for Michael Bay, everyone (Awkward slow clap)!